Tuesday, June 18, 2013

An eye for an eye (not for the squeamish)

The morning after my successful day of hiking, I was ready to leave for work and in a big hurry. Betsy becomes uncooperative when she realizes I'm leaving, so I was carrying her outside so she could potty. I flew out the patio door, beagle in arms, and the next moment literally fell flat on my face.

You know how sometimes when you are in peril, everything slows down? That did not happen. One moment I was vertical and a split second later, my face was bouncing off the concrete patio.

I laid there for a minute, assessing the damage, knowing that if I could not get up, I would be laying there for a very long time waiting for help. No blood, so that was good. The dog was sniffing my hair, so she was okay. My new, stylish glasses were bent - splayed is more like it - and one lens scratched, but otherwise intact. I sat up. Not dizzy. I stood up and hobbled back into the house.

My first thought was, I guess I am not going to work today. The next one was, Gotta stop the swelling that is bound to happen; fortunately, I had a gel pack in the freezer. Then I wondered if I needed to see a doctor. I texted my SO, to see if he could come over; fortunately, he was up and his phone was on and he showed up a short time later. I sent a note to work, to let them know what had happened, in case someone was wondering where I was.

I didn't want to go to the ER because I didn't feel like an emergency and I didn't feel like paying for a bunch of unnecessary tests. It was too early for my internist to be in the office, and I was afraid she or her staff would say, Go to the ER. After a bit of discussion, we decided the walk-in clinic was just the thing. They were open, it would cost the same as an office visit, and they have imaging equipment if an X-ray was needed.

The PA who examined me was young and energetic and still enthusiastic about medicine, and she explained everything she was doing, like why she was looking in my ears and nose. Besides my bruised face, I had scrapes on my right knee and right shoulder, and my left foot hurt; apparently, I twisted my ankle as I stepped out the patio door and landed mostly on my right side. I managed to get out of there with no meds or tests, just a tetanus shot, delivered by one sardonic nurse.

Two things surprised me about my visit to the clinic: 1) no suspicions were cast upon my SO, and 2) they did not offer me a pamphlet on how to prevent falls in the home, something they usually do even when I am there for a UTI.

After this point, the story becomes less dramatic. I worked from home a couple of days, worked from work a couple of days, took my glasses to my optometrist where I learned that because I have i.Scription lenses, I would have to replace the frames AND the lenses, to the tune of $600 (that's with the discount - I still haven't reconciled myself to that expense). The following Monday I went back to the optometrist because over the weekend I noticed floaters and flashes; she thought my eye was okay, but sent me to a retinal specialist just to make sure, and he is sure my eye is okay. I'm not quite back to 100%, but getting there.

Okay, here is the squeamish part: pictures!

Tuesday, a few hours after the fall

Tuesday, that night


Notice how crooked my nose looks in the above photo? The swelling was not only pushing my nose out of place, but my mouth as well. I looked like I had had a stroke.



The day after the fall, I could barely move my right shoulder, two days later the toes on my left foot turned black and the foot itself took on a lovely lavender hue.





One week later

And then I got tired of taking my picture in the mirror. At a future date, we shall discuss how this incident has made me feel really OLD.


  1. Yikes, that is quite the black eye. It does look like it came from a punch in the face rather than a fall. Did they x-ray your foot? The smaller toes are easy to break, although I don't think you can do anything but tape them.

    There's currently a telemarketing scam where "John from Shipping" leaves a message on your voicemail to schedule delivery of your free LifeAlert system, which one of your friends or relatives has already paid for because "you, a relative, or someone you know has recently had a fall in the home." You, a relative, or someone you know. Yep, that about covers it. So if they should start calling you now, that's a coincidence; no one you know thinks you need LifeAlert.

  2. Oh my goodness! I took a fall last month (fell off my shoes) and fortunately only scraped my knee!
    Sometimes it only take a split second and down we go!

  3. Good heavens! I hope you are okay now! And I agree it does look more like a punch than a fall. Our bodies are strange and fragile things.

  4. You poor thing!!!! That looks so painful!!! I hope you're feeling better than it looks. I've heard knitting & chocolate are GREAT therapy for black eyes.................:)